Disfunctional?

If I get one more, single lined comment with a link to a pharmaceutical product I think I will permanently hit DELETE.

I mean, it’s not like we need to spend our every waking hour being bombarded by time wasters posting one liners with links to adverts that are designed to suggest to us that we are faced with an impending threat of being disfunctional, and that to be fully funtional we need to be permanently aroused. For starters where would any of us find the energy let alone the time for a life of permanent arousal, surely there are more important things to life than having to endure the discomfort of being permanently thrust against our under garments. I would never be able to queue again, for fear of impaling the person infront of me. Can you imagine it? “I’m ever so sorry sir/madam, I wasn’t being rude and I can assure you, really, I never meant anything by it, It’s just these pills you see, I’ve had them thrust (no pun intended) at me for so long now that I am totally convinced that I cannot be functional without them, and now I have no control over my functionality.” The last words, of which, are slipping off my lips as I am forcibly thrown into the back of a police car.

Besides, how I am I supposed to pee? Should I sign up on a gymnastics course so that I can perfect my hand stand technique, or do I have to look forward to a life of sitting on the toilet and being permanently jammed against the underside of the toilet seat. Not to mention the fact that I would probably need to start wearing wellie boots to keep my feet dry in case I didn’t quite make the bowl and hit the gap between the pan and the seat or just missed completely. Perhaps there is an upper and a downer for such occasions?? Blue for up. Pink for Down??

Come on, have we really evolved to the point where we are so gullable/desperate that time wasters think they can get away with it?

It seems essential to convince us that the only way to be functional is to be permanently aroused. Is that what I have to look forward to? A life spent pointing at the heavens from my trouser department, chafing against the fabric and being permanently aware that I have a visible bulge for all to see and that at any given moment I could explode from my trousers. Please god don’t let the zip be faulty. I’ll never be able to buy a cheap pair of jeans again.

Doesn’t anything else matter any more? Please tell me that there is more to life than whether I have functionality or not. Surely I can’t be condemmed to a life of permanent visits to my GP to sign up for my monthly supply of functionality.( Is functionality a word?) Oh and not forgetting of course all the other pills that I am told I might need along the way, you know, just incase. Plus, as well, I should imagine the risk of heart attack is greatly increased, after all somethings got to compensate for the increased blood flow to my nether regions and there’s always the case that when I did get to put my functionality to use, would, or could I stand the pace? Or is there a pill for that?

Where are the real people? I know you’re out there somewhere. The ones that are genuinely interested and have a voice and an opinion. Not the time wasters.

Your probably doing exactly the same as me right now. Having just read yet another flattering comment about how well you write. You check the URL and POW!! There it is again, DELETE, DELETE, DELETE. Will it ever stop?

So like me, you begin frantically typing away wondering if it’s all really worth it, hoping that the next time you get a response it will be relevant and will make it all worth while, the chance for a real relative constructive comment from someone who is actually interested in what you have to say and not what they have to sell. I hate time wasters

Before I finish, I must say without prejudice and with complete conviction that I am not being judgemental of anyone, and please don’t get me wrong or take offence,it’s each to their own, I respect that, and yes some peoples needs are greater than others. If we were all the same life would be really boring . It’s just that I have had enough now. GO AND WASTE SOMEONE ELSES TIME!